


if the world was ending

by moralesunflower



Series: November aka Shipember [5]
Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2021-01-23 20:33:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21326257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moralesunflower/pseuds/moralesunflower
Summary: Letters between Inej and Kaz.
Relationships: Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa
Series: November aka Shipember [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1536238
Kudos: 23





	if the world was ending

**"i know, you know, we know you weren't down for forever and it's fine. i know, you know, we know you we weren't meant for each other. but if the world was ending you'd come over right?" jp saxe and julia michaels - if the world was ending**

Kaz, 

What if I told you the world was soon to end? What if I told the universe was limping like that leg of yours and slowly unlearning how to function, what would you say? I know what you would say. You would look determined and pale, as you always do, and you would say "I keep making money, don't I? Then the universe can keep being trash." 

I feel agitated by a tremendous earthquake whenever I think about you, which doesn't happen often - i'm sure you know how to avoid my face when you look at your memories. You are good at repressing. It happens like this : I'm on my ship, almost shivering from the cold, smelling the salt of the sea and all of a sudden, i also smell the fragrance of thunder and sweat you have and, before i can say knife ; i'm with the Dregs, jumping from a random roof to the ground and i see your gloves. For a few moments, I don't know what to do with my body, I want to appear threatening, reliable and a gracious dancer and I hate myself for being ugly and I hate myself for not being ugly enough for you to refrain from looking a quarter in love with me. Does that even make sense? All these feelings are what I call a tremendous earthquake. Hope you're feeling it too right now. 

You don't write often, and you say nothing. You usually ask me if I have caught more slavers. Yes, Kaz, I have. You, more than anyone I know, must be aware of how easy it is to break men that could never be precious for us. They're pathetic, and I don't know what I am after I touched their dirty bodies and impressed them. Strong, of course, but powerful? I don't know, really.

But I have decided to face this incertitude, this wondering. Protecting myself from everything would do me no good. What about you? 

People talk about you, sometimes. They heard your name. They call you Dirtyhands, yes, even there, and they say you have the grin of the dead. And I laugh, because I've seen a very lively flame in your strange eyes and I still remember the somehow softness of your hands when we part ways. Do you remember what I told you? _"I will have you without armor, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all." _ It sounds very pretentious now that I'm writing it, but, well, I have to be confident sometimes. And sometimes, I let myself feel weak and I regret these words. I think "I could slide my arms inside the armor" or something. But that would feel heavy on my arms and hurt. Both of us refuse to let you be tainted by my pain. Both of us want me to braver than this - perhaps? 

Hurry up, Kaz, undress. 

Inej. 

\- 

Inej, 

If the world was ending, I'd hold your face. 

Kaz. 


End file.
